Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. (Melodie Beattie)
1. Sometime ago, I was sharing with someone who at one time had been homeless. He told me of how often he would long for a sandwich. So he would hang out at fast food restaurants to collect the discarded ketchup packets. Then (if he was lucky that day) he would find a slice of bread and squeeze out the remaining ketchup from the assorted packets to make a ketchup sandwich. He went on to tell me of the day that a gentleman noticed him and offered to take him to a near-by restaurant and buy him a hamburger. He told me that it was one of the hardest decisions he ever had to make. He said this is how it went down with his ordering: Did I want a white or whole wheat bun? Did I want a single burger or the deluxe double burger? Did I want cheese on my burger? Did I want my burger somewhat rare, medium, or well done? Did I want onions on the burger? Raw or fried? Did I want lettuce, tomato, and mayo on the burger? Finally, did I want to have fries? Oops – what size order of fries? Small, medium or large? Then it was the decision of what to drink. As a result of all this burger decisioning, it took him at least 15 minutes to place his order.
2. Another experience I had was with that of a person who had survived the genocide of Rwanda. The Rwandan genocide was the 1994 mass slaughter of an estimated 800,000 people in the East African state of Rwanda. In my inquiry as to how she and her family escaped and survived she said: “We only had each other and that gave us courage. We prayed at first to find a cup for drinking. But eventually we turned our prayer into a request for a cooking pot. Then all of us could eat, drink, and share.”
A Jewish folk tale:
A story tells of a man who went to the office every day in his expensive car, and made important decisions and signed big contracts. Often, the important man would enjoy business lunches with his clients, and would try to distract the attention of his influential guests away from the unsavory spectacle of the beggars on the streets of his city.
One evening, after a hard day making money, he packed his briefcase to go home, where supper would be waiting for him. As he was locking his desk for the night, he caught sight of a stale sandwich lying abandoned at the back of the drawer. Without much thought he crammed it in his coat pocket. No need for it to go moldy and mess up his desk. And on the way out to the car park he saw a street beggar on the steps, huddled in an old blanket. ‘Here, my friend’ he said to the beggar. ‘Here is something for your supper.’ And he gave him the stale sandwich.
That night, the man dreamed that he was away on a business trip. After the day’s meeting, he was taken with his fellow directors to the town’s most luxurious restaurant. Everyone gave their orders, and settled down with their drinks before the meal to look forward to a convivial evening.
The orders arrived. Pâté de foie gras. Medallions of venison. Lamb cutlets with rosemary and garlic. The dishes being brought to the table brought gasps of delight from all the company. Then his own order appeared. A waitress set in front of him one small plate, on which was served a stale sandwich.
‘What kind of service is this?’ the man demanded, enraged. ‘This isn’t what I ordered! I thought this was the best restaurant in town!’
‘Oh sir,’ the waitress told him, ‘you’ve been misinformed. This isn’t a restaurant at all. This is heaven. We are only able to serve you what you have sent on ahead while you were alive. I’m very sorry, sir, but when we looked under your name, the best we could find to serve to you was this little sandwich.’ (Retelling of a Jewish folk story)
Ponderings:
How would you describe gratitude? For what are you most grateful?
How do the stories make you feel?
What is disturbing for you in the stories?
What is true for you in the stories?
How have you been a person of generosity in your life?
Have you ever been a recipient of someone’s generosity?
Where in your life have you encountered trauma or tragedy and came through it with a few scars but with great wisdom?
1. Sometime ago, I was sharing with someone who at one time had been homeless. He told me of how often he would long for a sandwich. So he would hang out at fast food restaurants to collect the discarded ketchup packets. Then (if he was lucky that day) he would find a slice of bread and squeeze out the remaining ketchup from the assorted packets to make a ketchup sandwich. He went on to tell me of the day that a gentleman noticed him and offered to take him to a near-by restaurant and buy him a hamburger. He told me that it was one of the hardest decisions he ever had to make. He said this is how it went down with his ordering: Did I want a white or whole wheat bun? Did I want a single burger or the deluxe double burger? Did I want cheese on my burger? Did I want my burger somewhat rare, medium, or well done? Did I want onions on the burger? Raw or fried? Did I want lettuce, tomato, and mayo on the burger? Finally, did I want to have fries? Oops – what size order of fries? Small, medium or large? Then it was the decision of what to drink. As a result of all this burger decisioning, it took him at least 15 minutes to place his order.
A Jewish folk tale:
A story tells of a man who went to the office every day in his expensive car, and made important decisions and signed big contracts. Often, the important man would enjoy business lunches with his clients, and would try to distract the attention of his influential guests away from the unsavory spectacle of the beggars on the streets of his city.
One evening, after a hard day making money, he packed his briefcase to go home, where supper would be waiting for him. As he was locking his desk for the night, he caught sight of a stale sandwich lying abandoned at the back of the drawer. Without much thought he crammed it in his coat pocket. No need for it to go moldy and mess up his desk. And on the way out to the car park he saw a street beggar on the steps, huddled in an old blanket. ‘Here, my friend’ he said to the beggar. ‘Here is something for your supper.’ And he gave him the stale sandwich.
That night, the man dreamed that he was away on a business trip. After the day’s meeting, he was taken with his fellow directors to the town’s most luxurious restaurant. Everyone gave their orders, and settled down with their drinks before the meal to look forward to a convivial evening.
The orders arrived. Pâté de foie gras. Medallions of venison. Lamb cutlets with rosemary and garlic. The dishes being brought to the table brought gasps of delight from all the company. Then his own order appeared. A waitress set in front of him one small plate, on which was served a stale sandwich.
‘What kind of service is this?’ the man demanded, enraged. ‘This isn’t what I ordered! I thought this was the best restaurant in town!’
‘Oh sir,’ the waitress told him, ‘you’ve been misinformed. This isn’t a restaurant at all. This is heaven. We are only able to serve you what you have sent on ahead while you were alive. I’m very sorry, sir, but when we looked under your name, the best we could find to serve to you was this little sandwich.’ (Retelling of a Jewish folk story)
Ponderings:
How would you describe gratitude? For what are you most grateful?
How do the stories make you feel?
What is disturbing for you in the stories?
What is true for you in the stories?
How have you been a person of generosity in your life?
Have you ever been a recipient of someone’s generosity?
Where in your life have you encountered trauma or tragedy and came through it with a few scars but with great wisdom?
(A November Memory)
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