I recently
made a retreat in a wooded area of western Wisconsin. I retired early my first
night there since I was weary from travel and all the activities of the month.
I was looking forward to a long sleep. My little cabin was enwrapped by the
covering of abundant trees which quieted the hum of the traffic on the distant
roads. However, before sunrise, I heard something bumping against the side
window. Thud, scratch-scratch, flap-flap. This went on for a few more minutes
before I got up enough nerve with a moan and made an effort to open the blinds
at the window. What was making this early morning wake-up call here in the
middle of the woods? My imagination was getting the best of me. I was thinking
that maybe I would be facing a deer, or a woodchuck, or a squirrel, or even a
skunk. Yikes, then what? So I slowly opened the blinds, and there on the
edge of the terrace was a very chubby robin that looked very determined. She
seemed to wonder why I was looking back at her through the woods!
I soon discovered that the window of the cabin was reflecting the surrounding woods, and she was attempting to “enter” this glass portal, no matter what. She tried again to break through this reflection with another effort. Resolute, she flew directly at the window only to meet the barrier head-on – then falling, she scratched her way down the window and then with flapping efforts, she tried to make her way up the window, eventually falling to the small rocks below that were surrounding the cabin. She tried a number of times – thud- scratch-flap, thud-scratch-flap. After several more unsuccessful attempts, she flew off probably to think of how to approach this problem upon her return the next day.
I thought I’d spare her from injuring herself, so I piled a few large branches against the window to keep her from another airborne mishap. However, later in the afternoon, a squirrel climbed up the branches that were leaning against the window, and he threw himself at his reflection mirrored in the window. I laughed and thought- this must be part of the boot camp wilderness tactics for deep woods survival!
I wrote the following - reflecting on this experience.
Robin Gone Wild! A pre-dawn predator at my window? Ready-fire-aim! She efforts to enter through the widow reflection that teases her songbird senses. Ready-fire-aim. She undertakes a second flight seeking contact with the glassed companion in the window who mimics her exact movements. No luck – thud-scratch-flap. Then she attempts a third thrust. Thud-scratch-flap. She falls dazed to the rocks below. She flies off – perhaps to strategize her approach for another day’s dawn. Isn’t this what Albert Einstein defined as insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Then I wondered . . . am I like this persistent harbinger of Spring when encountering or confronted with or challenged by illusions that bump up against my ego – alluring my senses, my false self with distorted truths or deceptive stories? . . . What stories do I tell myself when I have certain feelings, perceptions, assumptions, and expectations? This has to be insanity! It is essential that I find the time and space where my true self is quieted in silent readiness, with aimed awareness, and with the faith-filled fire of hope in God’s abundant grace and unconditional love surrounding me as I journey through this wilderness training called life.
I soon discovered that the window of the cabin was reflecting the surrounding woods, and she was attempting to “enter” this glass portal, no matter what. She tried again to break through this reflection with another effort. Resolute, she flew directly at the window only to meet the barrier head-on – then falling, she scratched her way down the window and then with flapping efforts, she tried to make her way up the window, eventually falling to the small rocks below that were surrounding the cabin. She tried a number of times – thud- scratch-flap, thud-scratch-flap. After several more unsuccessful attempts, she flew off probably to think of how to approach this problem upon her return the next day.
I thought I’d spare her from injuring herself, so I piled a few large branches against the window to keep her from another airborne mishap. However, later in the afternoon, a squirrel climbed up the branches that were leaning against the window, and he threw himself at his reflection mirrored in the window. I laughed and thought- this must be part of the boot camp wilderness tactics for deep woods survival!
I wrote the following - reflecting on this experience.
Robin Gone Wild! A pre-dawn predator at my window? Ready-fire-aim! She efforts to enter through the widow reflection that teases her songbird senses. Ready-fire-aim. She undertakes a second flight seeking contact with the glassed companion in the window who mimics her exact movements. No luck – thud-scratch-flap. Then she attempts a third thrust. Thud-scratch-flap. She falls dazed to the rocks below. She flies off – perhaps to strategize her approach for another day’s dawn. Isn’t this what Albert Einstein defined as insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Then I wondered . . . am I like this persistent harbinger of Spring when encountering or confronted with or challenged by illusions that bump up against my ego – alluring my senses, my false self with distorted truths or deceptive stories? . . . What stories do I tell myself when I have certain feelings, perceptions, assumptions, and expectations? This has to be insanity! It is essential that I find the time and space where my true self is quieted in silent readiness, with aimed awareness, and with the faith-filled fire of hope in God’s abundant grace and unconditional love surrounding me as I journey through this wilderness training called life.
(Previously posted May 2013)
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| Photo by Doris Klein, CSA |
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